simply journal

Human relationships are like religions. You need to put a lot of faith in something that may or may not be there, and often blindly run into walls because of it. You often need to exercise certain rituals for reasons you don’t even know. You need commitment, trust, love, sacrifice…

I have several bracelets on me. They are on my wrist just the way my beloved friends put them. To me, these bracelets are friendships. As I am on the other side of earth, these bracelets are often reminders to keep believing and keep loving, because, even with the technology today, it’s somehow so difficult to keep in touch. Even with smartphones in everyone’s hand, I get a brief message every couple months.

I am bitter. I am in pain. I am sarcastic. I am lost. I am sad. I am scared. I AM TERRIFIED.

I really don’t have many friends or people to care about.

Today, one of the bracelets broke off. I guess I’ve had it on me for too long. I never took them off. They have been through everything with me. And now, one of it just lies there. Is it dead?

Relationships are just about the same as religions to me. As I am incapable of believing in the actual religions, I think my faith lied on the people I love. Lied, I am in doubts.

I don’t know how faith works for other people. Perhaps, something that only exists in your mind can’t disappoint. But the people that I love do exist and can bring joy and sadness to me with the smallest things they do.

I stare at this bracelet. I can’t help to wonder if this means anything.

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