simply journal

Love seems to be the heart of my life.

I felt like I have to write it down somewhere. Perhaps it’s the only way to clear my head. But it actually took me quite a long time to figure out what exactly that I have been feeling – about the girl I love seeing someone that’s not me.

It came as a shock that pierced right through my heart. Sadness and depression then haunted me. That day and the few days that followed were rather blurry as I pondered and got lost in the same loop of thoughts. I was emotional. Well, I am an emotional person. Much of the emotions were largely exaggerated and became a tangled mess.

I was jealous. But then I was more troubled by the fact that I couldn’t be happy for her having met someone that brings her joy. I don’t think many people can do such a thing. Maybe I will get there one day, but I am just not quite there yet.

I wish I can be there to fight for her heart. I wish I can be there to share my love with her. I wish… Then I know I will. This is crazy but I’ve made up my mind that I don’t want to bury this love just yet.

At the end of the day, I ask myself if the fact that she’s seeing someone has changed anything in my heart… nothing has changed.

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